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@ruichamuchamu
https://brownricecookies.wordpress.com/2018/05/06/dazai-osamu-an-urgent-appeal/
https://youtu.be/ygSs5O6ni4g?si=FovDnrYsOO4ovdln
The relationship between Louis and More reminds me of An Urgent Appeal by Osamu Dazai, where he interprets Judas Iscariot’s betrayal of Jesus for 30 pieces of silver as an act of love. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Judas identifies Jesus with a kiss and hands him over to the Roman soldiers. Dazai explores why Judas, once a devoted disciple, ultimately betrayed Jesus, reinterpreting it through the lens of love. That’s where I drew inspiration from. This MV also reflects that theme.
The following scene in the novel describes the moment when Judas first resolves to "kill Jesus with his own hands." The Gospels include an episode featuring an unnamed Mary, often referred to as "the woman who anointed Jesus with perfume." In the original biblical text, Judas appears as a villain who simply criticizes Mary. However, in An Urgent Appeal, Dazai reimagines this moment: Judas perceives (or perhaps only imagines) that Jesus harbors romantic affection for Mary, which unsettles him deeply. Overcome with jealousy upon witnessing their closeness, Judas ultimately reaches the conclusion that "it would be better to kill him with my own hands."
"Listen. It was six days ago. While he was dining at the house of Simon in Bethany, Mary, the younger sister of Martha, suddenly poured a jar full of nard perfume over his head, soaking his feet as well. She did not apologize but calmly sat there and wiped his feet with her hair. The fragrance filled the house, creating an unusual atmosphere. I don't know why, but I felt extremely angry. I shouted at her, 'Don't be so disrespectful!'...But then, he glared at me and said, 'Do not trouble this woman. She has done a good thing for me.'...As he finished speaking, I noticed that his pale cheeks had flushed slightly. I did not believe his words. I thought it was just another one of his exaggerated performances. But more than that, I sensed something strange in his voice, in his gaze—something I had never noticed before. I was momentarily flustered. And then, when I saw his slightly reddened cheeks and his eyes welling up with tears, I realized something.Ah, this is absurd. It pains me even to say it. But could it be…? No, it’s impossible. And yet, isn't there a dangerous, almost forbidden emotion within him toward this poor country girl?Such a great man, even for a single moment, feeling special affection for an ignorant rural woman—it would be a grave mistake, an irreparable scandal....But I was devastated. I wanted to claw at my own chest. I don’t even know why. Ah, how painful and wicked jealousy is! I have followed him, devoted my life to him, and yet, he has never once spoken a gentle word to me. Instead, he blushes and defends that lowly woman....Ah, he is hopeless. He has gone too far. There is no saving him now....From that moment, I resolved to kill him with my own hands. Sooner or later, he will be killed. Sometimes, it even seems as if he is forcing himself into such a fate. I will be the one to do it. I will not let him be killed by another."
At the time of Jesus' birth, the Jewish people were under Roman rule. According to the Old Testament, they believed that a Messiah would come to save them. Many Jews thought that the Messiah would free them from Roman oppression, leading to numerous self-proclaimed Messiahs advocating armed rebellion.
Among them, Jesus gained the greatest following. People expected him to liberate them from Rome, but according to the Gospels, Jesus' message was more spiritual than political. This failure to meet the people’s expectations may have contributed to his execution. Some scholars even suggest that divisions within his followers arose from this. Many theories propose that Judas' betrayal stemmed from such disappointment.
"Once, on a spring day, as he walked along the shore, he suddenly called my name and said, 'I am greatly indebted to you. I understand your loneliness.'...'Do you not see? Even if no one else recognizes your solitude, it is enough that your true Father in the unseen world does.'...I wanted to break down and cry. No, I don’t need the Father in heaven to acknowledge me—just you. If only you understood me, that would be enough. I love you....Peter and James only follow you, hoping for some great reward. But I alone know that there is nothing to gain from following you. Yet, I cannot leave your side. Why is that? If you were to disappear from this world, I would die as well. I could not go on living."
Throughout the novel, Judas constantly reminds himself that he is a merchant—a man of the world, steeped in practical, material concerns—while Jesus is a pure, spiritual being. He believes that Jesus looks down on him for this, and though he resents it, he also paradoxically sees himself as the only one who truly loves Jesus.
"I do not believe in heaven. I do not believe in God. I do not believe in his resurrection. How can he be the King of Israel? The foolish disciples believe he is the Son of God, rejoicing in the so-called gospel of the kingdom. But I know that soon they will be disappointed....He promised that 'those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.' But the world does not work that way. He is a liar. Everything he says is nonsense. I believe none of it. But I do believe in his beauty. There is no one in this world as beautiful as him. I purely love that beauty....I desire no reward. I follow him not for heaven, nor for status. I only wish to be near him, to hear his voice, to see his face. If only we could live together, just the two of us, forever. Oh, how happy I would be!...I believe only in the joys of this world. I do not fear judgment in the next life. But why does he refuse my pure devotion?"
Judas ultimately resigns himself to the idea that Jesus is doomed. He comes to believe that Jesus, aware of his own tragic fate, seeks to bring it upon himself. Realizing this, Judas feels both scornful and heartbroken.
"He is lost. He knows it. His pride will not allow him to admit defeat, so he forces himself into the hands of the priests, bidding farewell to the world on his own terms. When I realized this, I was finally able to give up on him....And yet, when I saw him, I suddenly felt the urge to embrace him and weep together. Ah, how pitiful. You have done nothing wrong. You were always good. You were always right. You were always on the side of the poor. And you were always shiningly beautiful. You are truly the Son of God. I know this....But when he spoke those words to me, I felt as if I had been cast into darkness. My bitterness grew until, at last, anger flared within me....No, I cannot take this. He despises me. I will sell him. I will kill him. And then I will die with him."
In An Urgent Appeal, Dazai reimagines Judas as a deeply conflicted figure, tormented by love, jealousy, and a desperate need for recognition. He is not merely a traitor but a man who, in his own twisted way, loves Jesus so intensely that he cannot bear his perceived rejection.
This interpretation resonates with Louis and More’s relationship. Louis, like Judas, is pure yet wounded, his faith in More crumbling under the weight of betrayal. Wouldn’t you say their fates echo each other?