Pool drama - shitranslation
I might be just a weeb with a dictionary app but I think this should do as a translation until shipper gets better and takes care of it✨
@exdeath_chan
Reo: test test~ Riight, so, we're policemen from Asakusa Kawauso Kouban, Niiboshi here, and this is Akutsu. We're going to keep watch, so everyone can enjoy the pool safely. Well then, let's do some warm up.
Mabu: Okay then, form two rows, and we shall start the warm up exercises. One, two, three, four, two, two, three, four...
Toi: why the hell did police come to an opening of a middle school pool?
Enta: Kuji... This means trouble, doesn't it?
Kazuki: are they really policemen? What kind of policeman is that, blonde, tanned, and wearing star shaped glasses and a hawaiian shirt? And he has ramune in his left hand, isn't he just enjoying his summer too much?
🐡🐡🐡
Mabu: Okay. Now, everyone, 🏊🏄💦
Reo: aaaaaah so boring. Why do we even have to babysit kids?
Mabu: it can't be helped. This is for our mission. We need more of them zombie bois.
Reo: but aren't the desires of those kids, like, not relevant enough?
Mabu: it doesn't seem so. Just a while ago, my gaydar sensed a strong desire. [1]
Reo: did those lame swimming glasses show you that?
Mabu: yes. They were created thanks to Otter Empire Technology©®™. The Desire Radar Swimming Glasses©®™. They have thermal sensors. Now, I'm going to search for the suspect. 🏊
🐡🐡🐡
Kazuki: Aaah, so nice and cold. Pools are the best ✨💦
Enta: Kazuki, look! A cucumber is floating in the middle of the pool!
Toi: why a cucumber...
Enta: this is... Akita prefecture's highest class cucumber... Tsushou black cucumber! [2]
Kazuki: eeh, Enta, you know your stuff well!
Enta: I'm taking this cucumber! Hm? There's another hand?
Mabu: this is a lost item. Us policemen will confiscate this. *drooling sounds* [3]
Enta: You're saying this, but you just want to eat this, right?!? You're drooling! I found it first, hands off!
Toi: hey Jinnai, don't pick fights with the police...
Enta: no way! This cucumber is for Kazuki!
Mabu, internally: my desire radar is reacting. This means, this kid is the target.
Mabu: sorry, but there are things I'm not letting go either. [4]
Kazuki: Then let's have a swimming duel! The prize is the cucumber!
Toi: the hell are you saying?!?
Kazuki: teehee, I suddenly felt like eating the Nice Cucumber™ ✨
Mabu: I will not let go of desire. I accept. [5]
🐡🐡🐡
Reo: yaaawn. O shit, I fell asleep. Mabu is still not back? Hm? What. The kids are figh- UUH THAT'S MABU?!?!?!
Mabu: buruburuburuburuburuburuburu 🏊
Reo: Mabu's swimming is... The first Secret Kappa Swimming Technique, passed from generation to generation in the Kappa Kingdom, something something Kappa Boost! [6] [swimming commentator technique description noises] [7] That Mabu, he's really going for the win!
Kazuki: not good, he's so fast, we can't catch up to him!
Enta: the fight is not over yet! [Determined recorder kin noises]
Toi: his swimming style is weird, but the speed is overwhelming! Just what the hell is he?
Mabu: Behold, the second Secret Kappa Swimming Technique. Here I come! Buriburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburi 🏊
Reo: THERE HE WEEEEEEENT! The Second Secret Kappa Swimming Technique, Jet Kappa Bomb! [Swimming commentator technique description noises] [8]
Mabu: buriburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburiburi 🏊💦 💥
Enta: this is an unfair play!
Kazuki: if only Keppi was here! [9]
Keppi: did you call me, kero?
Trio: KEPPI?
Keppi: I came to the pool opening to observe stuff as a part of my prince duties, kero. Ahh, it's so heavenly~
Enta: frog prince
Keppi: I'M NOT A FROG!!!!
*desire extraction noises*
Kazuki: yay! We became kappas!
Toi: Nice, Jinnai!
Enta: let's go! Commencing counterattack! 🏊🏊🏊
Mabu: hoh? They're using the Jet Kappa Bomb swimming technique, seems like they're still fighting hard. [10] Well then, time for the next one. biringbiringbiring~ 🏊🏊
Reo: THEEEEERE HE GOOOOOOOOOES! SECRET KAPPA SWIMMING TECHNIQUE NO 3, ROLLING KAPPA SHRIMP!
[Swimming commentator technique description noises] [11] IT'S LIKE A BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS FORMING BEHIND MABU!!!!!!!
Kazuki: uwaaa! ;A; we're getting sucked into the whirlpool!
Enta: It's not over yet! We still have sarazanmai!
Trio: saraa- SARAZANMAI
Enta: I'VE KAPPTURED IT!
Kazuki: Enta? What the heck did you kappture?
Toi: those are... Swimming glasses?
Mabu: my Thermovision Swimming Glasses©®™ are gone! Without them, I can't see!
Enta: onward~ ✨
Toi: that's a bit of a dirty move
Kazuki: Nice Cucumber™! Nice Cucumber™!
Reo: MABU! Don't lose! You're better than this!
Mabu: That's right. There's no way I can lose this. For Reo's sake, I will certainly extract the desire! [12]
Reo: THIS POSE? IT CAN'T BE?!?
Mabu: I didn't want to resort to use this, but it can't be helped. The ultimate Secret Technique...
Reo: This technique is supposed to be used only in life-or-death situations! [13] Mabu! Let me help!
ReoMabu: WHICH ONE IS OUR FUTURE? THE OBLITERATING BLOW: DEAD OR KAPPALIVE!!!! [14] *passionate swimming noises*
Mabu: damn...
Reo: what's wrong, Mabu??
Mabu: without the glasses I can't see the goal!
Reo: gotchu! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
Enta: ...I don't really know what just happened, but they just went and flew into the sky...
Kazuki: We're almost at the finish line!
Enta: YAY! It's our win!
Toi: I'm just glad the cops are gone...
Kazuki: I don't really *cronch monch* know what you mean, but that's good, right? *cronch cronch monch monch*
Toi: hey, are you done eating the cucumber all by yourself???
The crocs asshole who only shares expired food with his friends: delicious black cucumber~ ✨
🐡🐡🐡
Reo: ...which ocean is that... There are palm trees...
Mabu: my glasses.... My glasses...
Reo: ...............where is Asakusa...........
🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡
[1] not literally gaydar but this refers to the short manga published on migii's twitter where Enta was being thirsty so. Gaydar sounds sexier.
[2] i have no idea about cucumber breeds but you probably don't care either way so it's fine
[3] ily mabu...
[4] i love him so much....
[5] so cool, dish!
[6] i can't understand those engrish names well but you probably don't really care either way
[7] i hope you're not interested in the kappa swimming techniques because he speaks too fast for my poor brain to process. Something about him blowing water out of his mouth and his butt and a strong force.
[8] something something his entire body, something something kappa gills, something something big explosion, something something Mabu kappa
[9] that's what I think every night as I fall asleep
[10] big not sure about this sentence
[11] something about becoming shrimp kin and making a whirlpool
[12] i love you so much mabu.......
[13] not quite sure
[14] So damn unsure abiut this. it's unfortunate that the most impossible to decipher engrish happened to be the coolest move.