chicken nuggets
@keunsmochi
“di ka ba busy?” joaquin asked as soon as he got in the car
“kung busy ako, yayayain ba kita?” kiko started to maneuver his car and drive away.
“saan tayo?” joaquin asks.
“kape? tapos mcnuggets tayo? what do you think?” kiko offered.
joaquin froze from his seat. “how did you know my favorites?”
kiko took a glance at joaquin “favorite mo yon? hindi ko alam… but I guess now I know”
-
the two settled in an open parking in front of a mcdonald’s store. binuksan ni kiko ang compartment ng sasakyan niya para makaupo silang dalawa while eating joaquin’s favorites—mc iced latte, bff fries, and 24 pieces of chicken nuggets.
they were silently drinking the coffee not until kiko heard a series of sobs. he turned to joaquin only to see him crying while taking a bite of the chicken nugget. “huy, okay ka lang?” he asked in panic.
and with kiko’s question, joaquin cried more. “huy, quin… may masakit ba sa’yo?” joaquin shook his head while sobbing.
kiko move towards him and held his shoulders. “saan masakit? may problema ba?” joaquin pouted at kiko’s soft voice. “w-wala… o-okay lang ako…” he timidly answered.
“hindi naman kita pipilitin magkwento… ang sa ‘kin lang, don't lie about being okay kasi hindi ka niyan matutulungang maging okay eventually.” kiko said before frowning at joaquin. “acknowledge your feelings. don't let them die in the shadows, joaquin.”
joaquin wiped his tears and drank his bottled water.
“form of gratification ko kasi ang nuggets, i just feel tired and suffocated these past days dahil sa sunod sunod na reqs, kaya when i finally got a bite of it, naiyak na lang ako… petty ‘di ba?” joaquin slightly laughed while wiping his tears.
“stop gaslighting yourself.” joaquin's lips formed into a thin line. “you should also take breaks in between… so kung hindi pa pala kita niyaya ngayon, magpapakalunod ka sa academics?” joaquin’s eyes widened at kiko’s remarks.
“oh, gulat ka diyan? alam kong kabaliktaran mo ko sa academics, pero magpahinga ka rin naman. ako nga na puro pahinga, napapagod. paano ka pa na lahat ata ng academic responsibility sa college niyo ‘eh sinalo mo?” this is probably the least possible sermon he expects from kiko.
“noted po, kuya kik-”
“ituloy mo sige, kakagatan ko lahat ng natitirang nuggets dito.”
“noted, dada kiks.” joaquin said while fake smiling.
“napapansin ko na rin naman na stressed ka, hindi ko lang minemention kasi baka maconcious ka… buti na lang tinweet mo na kanina.” kiko said before looking at joaquin.
“i don't usually tweet my struggles in my public account, but once I do, ibig sabihin no'n i'm almost at my peak… so kung 'di mo ko niyaya ngayon, baka nagbreakdown lang ako sa unit…” another batch of tears are starting to form in joaquin's eyes.
“gusto mo magkwento?” kiko asked.
“may enough space pa ba diyan sa'yo for my rants? ayokong mag trauma dump.” kiko smiled at joaquin's question.
so far, their friendship seemed to be working so well. learning together and respecting each other's boundaries.
“i saved some space for you.” kiko joked before nodding at joaquin.
“so how do I start… siguro una, pagod na ako sa course ko. pero mahal ko pa rin naman. nasusuffocate lang siguro ako kasi i have this feeling in me na hindi ako pwedeng mapagod kasi pinili ko 'to. like i literally chose this course over my family…” kiko can hear the pain in joaquin's voice but he just remained silent.
“their dream for me was to become a nurse, and my first thought was bakit ko naman ipupursue yung bagay na ayaw ko? and of course, they got mad. papa got mad at me tapos ganun din si mami. they told me na kung gusto ko ipursue 'to, then i should leave the house, and so I did.” it may sound proud but joaquin was also in pain.
“you had the courage to do that?” kiko was shocked to hear that joaquin was able to do something he's scared at.
“i may sound brave pero takot na takot ako. pero naisip ko, pangarap nila yung nursing eh, bakit nila ipapasa sakin? just because bunso ako? dahil lang binuhay nila ako? i left the house but my respect for them still remains. i make sure to message them every once in a while pero they never reply. kahit yung mga ate at kuya ko. pinapadalhan ko rin sila ng mga paintings ko, pero balita ko pinapamigay lang ni papa.” joaquin's voice broke at end.
“after a while, tita jo found out and silently messaged me that she'll help me get into college. so ayun. i just accept commissions to pay for my unit. hindi alam ni tita na the unit was rent to own.” he smiled as he remembers how he managed to get through it all. “the unit's about to be done in less than two years. so after grad, i can finally call it my own home.”
kiko's eyes mirrored joaquin's. he also can't believe that despite being a big cry baby and a ball of sunshine all in one, joaquin was also carrying this much burden. that you can't really see one's suffering through the face.
they may smile a lot, but they also cry a lot.
“kiko…” kiko snapped out of his thoughts when joaquin called his name.
“hmmm?”
“pwede payakap?” joaquin said while pouting so hard trying to fight the urge to cry.
“you don't even have to ask…” kiko answered before enveloping joaquin in his arms.
kiko was rubbing joaquin's back as the tears joaquin was trying to hold, started coming out.
“you did so well, joaquin. proud kami ni madam sa'yo.” kiko reassuringly said as joaquin's heart started to melt with the words his ears had been dying to hear.