taming the wildfire // 315
@woodzjeon
Who’s the girl?
Long straight hair, almond eyes, high cheek bones, plump lips, petite body. She’s a fucking goddess. Sobrang ganda, putangina. Saan naman nadampot ito ni Psalm? Saan siya nakakuha ng bayag lapitan ang babaeng ‘to?
Muli akong sumulyap sa kanila. Hindi na nakatingin sa akin si Psalm. Instead, he was conversing with her. Nag ngingitian pa.
Wow! Hindi na siya mahiyain? Hindi na siya yung nagkakanda utal utal sa sobrang hiya? Yung halos himatayin na? O yung halos sumabog na ‘yung mukha sa sobrang pula?
I guess… I’m a good teacher?
I smiled bitterly. Mukhang magaling na teacher nga ako. Tignan mo, wala pang tatlong buwan na hiwalay kami, naghahanap na ng iba.
Parang hindi ako iniyakan nung nakaraan lang. But whatever. Mahal ko siya pero tapos na kami. Wala na siyang commitment sa akin. Lumandi siya kung gusto niyang lumandi. Good for him. Tangina niya.
“Jace,” tawag ko. He was laughing at his friends at nakangisi pang bumaling sa akin. Lumapit siya at halos mahalikan ko na ang tenga niya. “Restroom lang ako.”
“Wait, I’ll come with–“
“Hindi na. Stay here. Saglit lang ako,” agad kong pag tanggi. Gusto kong mag drama mag isa sa restroom.
“Okay. But do you know where it is?”
“Magtatanong na lang ako.” I smiled assuringly at him. He pursed his lips and nodded. Kaya naman ay nag paalam na ako sa iba at umalis sa table.
Hinawakan ko ang kamay kong bahagyang nanginginig.
Hindi naging mahirap hanapin ang restroom. Mabuti na lamang at paalis na ang dalawang naroon ng pumasok ako. Agad kong tinukod ang mga kamay ko sa marbled sink at tumitig sa salamin.
“Don’t be like this, Sin,” bulong ko. “Tapos na kayo.”
Pumikit ako at huminga ng malalim. I did that a few times, trying to calm my whole system but… but my heart was still aching. Kahit anong breathing exercise ata ang gawin ko, hindi mapapawi ang kirot sa puso ko.
The image of Psalm with a girl in his arms was stuck in my head.
I fucking hated it.
It should’ve been me. Hindi ang magandang babaeng iyon. Ako dapat. Dahil ako ang mahal ni Psalm. Dahil mahal ko siya. Ako dapat ang kasama niya.
“Fuck…” mahinang mura ko and when I opened my eyes, agad kong nasipatan ang bagong pasok sa restroom na si Psalm.
Our gazes locked. Always. Kahit sa dagat ng mga tao, we always manage to lock gazes. We always find each other.
Tahimik niyang tinungo ang katabing sink. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. Hindi ko inalis ang titig sa reflection niya. He was so close to me. I could smell his perfume. I could smell the alcohol. I could smell her.
My heart was pounding. Fuck. Sin, kumalma ka! Kumalma ka sabi!
“She’s… She’s pretty…”
Calm down and shut the fuck up, Sinclair James! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
It was already too late. Muling nag tama ang tingin namin ni Psalm sa salamin. I saw a subtle smirk on his lips.
“Sobra,” he said na mas lalong nag pakirot ng puso ko.
Pero mas maganda pa rin ako diba? Fuck, I think medyo nati-tipsy na ako sa dalawang baso ng cocktail na nainom ko. What’s even in there? Hindi ko alam.
I pursed my lips, nodding. Lumayo ako sa sink, deciding to go back to our table, but before I could even take a step, I was pulled by my wrist.
I gasped in surprise as I collided with Psalm’s chest. My eyes widened as I stared at him. What the hell?
“Psalm–“
Itutulak ko sana siya palayo pero mabilis ang mga braso niyang yumakap sa bewang ko. WHAT THE HELL?!
“Psalm, ano ba?!”
See him this close, tsaka ko lang napansin ang pamumula ng mga pisngi niya. His ears were red too! Lasi na naman ba siya?! Tangina naman!
“Nagseselos ka?” he asked, almost like a whisper. Naamoy ko ang alak sa hininga niya. Shit! I think lasing nga siya!
“Hindi,” I answered determinedly. “Can you please get off me? Babalik na ako–“
“Nagseselos ka,” he repeated but this time, hindi na ito tanong.
“I’m not? Bakit naman ako mag seselos? Eh wala naman ng tayo?” halos mag taas na ako ng boses because I’m starting to get frustrated!
Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya. “Hindi ka na ba pwedeng mag selos just because we’re not together anymore? Kung ganon… Bakit selos na selos ako sa inyo ni Jace?”
What? Nagseselos siya? Shit…
“Wala ka namang dapat ikaselos…”
Teka, ano? Tangina, Sinclair, anong pinagsasabi mo?! UMAYOS KA NGA!
“Really?” he asked gently. GENTLY. PUTANGINA.
His eyes were half lidded. He looked intoxicated. Lasing nga talaga. Ano bang ininom nila? Sana umuwi na siya. Baka maulit na naman ‘yung nakaraan na nakatulog na siya sa kalasingan.
“Jace and I are just friends. Ilang beses ko ng sinabi sayo yan. Hindi mo lang ako pinapaniwalaan.”
Hindi siya sumagot and continued staring at me. Naiilang na ako kaya sinubukan ko uling itulak siya but he didn’t budge at all.
“Psalm, let me go–“
“No,” he grumbled. “Ayoko.”
Kumunot ang noo ko. “Anong ayaw mo? As if you have a say. Bitawan mo ko. Aalis na ko–“
“Ayoko.”
“Psalm, ano ba? Lasing ka na. Umuwi ka na. Mag pahatid ka–“
“Ayokong bitawan ka. I don’t want to let you go, Sinclair.” Natahimik ako dahil sa sinabi niya. “Kahit na… sobra mo kong sinaktan… I still couldn’t let you go.”
And then he sighed. He rested his forehead against mine. Napapikit ako when our noses grazed against each other.
“What did you do to me, Sin? Baliw na baliw pa rin ako sayo… Kahit anong gawin ko… to get rid of you in my fucking system… Ikaw pa rin… It’s still you… I still want you… so fucking bad.”
“Psalm–“
I was shushed my his lips. Napapikit ako ng mariin sa pagkabigla. His warm and soft lips kissed me slowly… but deeply.
Napakapit ako sa dibdib niya ng mas hinigit niya pa ako palapit. He tilted his head a bit upang mas mahalikan ako ng maayos. I could taste the alcohol in his mouth. Lalo na whe he forced his tongue inside my cavern.
Napaungol ako. Fuck…
When he flicked his tongue against mine, doon na ako tuluyang bumigay. I encircled my arms around his nape and started kissing him back.
He groaned against my mouth and I swallowed it. Rinig na rinig sa restroom ang tunog ng mga labi at dila naming nagsasayawan.
After god knows how long, we parted. Muli niyang sinandal ang noo niya sa akin, a thread of saliva still connecting our parted lips as we panted.
Nang mag tama muli ang mga tingin namin, muli niya akong hinalikan. Harsher this time. Aggresive.
I whimpered nang marahas niya akong sinandal sa pader ng cubicle at diniin roon habang nanggigigil niyang sinipsip ang lower lip ko, biting the soft flesh.
I entangled my fingers on the hair at the back of his head. I tugged on it ng muli niyang kagatin ang labi ko before he started sucking my tongue.
Tangina… Para akong niliyaban. After so long, ngayon ko na lang ulit naramdaman ito. I could feel myself getting wet. Ramdam ko rin ang katigasan niya na dumidiin sa tsan ko. Fuck, I’m fucking aroused!
“Psalm…” I managed to utter ng lubayan niya ang labi ko.
He started kisses my cheeks, then to my jaw, paangat sa tenga ko.
“Sumama ka sakin…” he whispered before catching the soft flesh of my ear. “Come with me, Sinclair. Let’s leave this place.”
I know I shouldn’t. Hiwalay na kami. Kinamumuhian niya ako dahil akala niya, niloko ko siya. And I’m fucking mad at him for not listening to me. For not believing me. For hurting me.
I know I shouldn’t even be kissing him.
But here I am, drunk in his kisses.
“Please…” I moaned when he started leaving open mouth kisses on the side of my neck. “Take me, Psalm…”
God, I really love this stupid boy.