[451] Seventeen
@spicydokyeom
"Kasalanan 'to ni mama," Minghao couldn't help but think as he sat petrified on his seat, the hoots and hollers from the people around him drowned by the sound of his own heartbeat. Cheeks flaming, he couldn't believe how he had completely forgotten what he spouted on the interview that was being currently shown in front of the whole party, eye twitching when he felt Jun's eyes glued on him.
"I love him," that was what he confessed to Seokmin and Joshua who did the interview with him, those three words bouncing around his skull as he remained frozen, frustrated at how he seemingly couldn't shake off the weariness that always came with that four-letter word.
Growing up in a household that used love as a leverage to get what they selfishly want, even he couldn't blame himself for staying away from labeling what he felt towards Jun as love, afraid that there would be a time in their lives when he would use that to his advantage, to gaslight and manipulate the other man by using that word– he knew he wouldn't be able to but there was still that small voice at the back of his mind telling him that he could ruin what he and Jun had with the kind of rotten love that festered within his own family.
"You love me," he heard Jun whisper amidst all the cheering and his loud thoughts, his vision zeroing in on the other man's soft expression– eyes bright with gaiety and mouth stretched in a wide beam. He looked beautiful like that, lax and happy and content, and he couldn't help but sigh at how the actor said his statement like an assurance and not a question, "That's right, you love me."
Jun was fully-aware of his feelings for him, everyone and their mother's did, and his heart clenched at how the other seemed to vibrate with glee when he finally heard it out loud, his fears melting away when his chair was pulled closer towards the other man, face cradled between gentle hands, eyes locked in on the only person that mattered at that moment.
"I love you," he found himself blurting out just in time for the whole party to hear him calling Jun as his boyfriend in the interview, ears burning when the actor in front of him embraced him for everyone to see– Minghao loved Jun, and for the very time in his life, he didn’t see his love as destructive as his family's but kind and healing instead, his whole body warmed by Jun's own string of love confessions.
It was true that his perception of love had been tainted at a very young age but hearing that word spill past Jun's lips over and over again, he couldn't help but keep that sweet sentiment close to his heart, aware that the other man felt the same way so he said it back, again and again because Jun deserved to know that he was loved– screw his mother's definition of love, Minghao was going to make his own warm one.
And maybe he already did create one with Jun– recalled just how patient he had gotten through the years of being with the other man, his boyfriend, as he could call him now, unconsciously making him want to be a better person, teaching him all he knew about taking care of the people around them, and taking care of oneself.
Minghao closed his eyes as he leaned his head on Jun’s shoulder, sliding his fingers through the other man’s while the attention of their peers was diverted on the next person on the screen- he felt at peace right then, truly excited for what the future would look like with his beloved boyfriend who had just chosen to put his mental health first before anything else, voluntarily stepping away from things that triggered him, and taking little steps towards fully recovering.
“I love you,” he told Jun again because he could, opening his eyes to his partner’s watery smile and placing a chaste kiss on his cheek before turning to look at the next person who was interviewed by Mijoo herself.
"Kasalanan 'to ni mama," Jihoon grunted as he downed another glass of wine, one leg bouncing while he chewed on his lips, heart doing a flip when the cheers for Minghao and Jun had died down, several more people appearing on the monitor in front of them before it was his face that graced the screen next.
There were scattered claps here and there, and he swore he heard Seungcheol yell something about how good he looked without the usual stern expression on his face but he was too nervous to even flip him off, swallowing hard when he heard his interview playing, beads of sweat forming on his as he listened to himself talking about his job, rambling about his dreams and things he didn’t really want to share to anyone but still managed to escape the confines of his mouth.
“Take it,” he heard someone say from beside him, his heart jumping at the appearance of Mijoo discreetly crouching under the table, thrusting a microphone on his trembling hands with a goofy grin on her face, “Good luck,” she mouthed, and then she was gone, reappearing at the other side of the table with her husband Kai helping her up.
"I want to have my own home. I want to have a family, a dog, maybe even a child and come home to them after a long day at work."
He couldn't believe his mother, the hopeless romantic that she was, really managed to convince him to chase after his dreams right in the middle of his high school reunion, tonguing his cheek as he hyped himself up, standing up on shaky legs and calling the attention of his batch mates by saying a quiet hello on the microphone.
Despite months of preparations and weeks of practising, the words that he had memorized vanishing at the very image of Soonyoung looking up at him from his seat– trust Mijoo to make everything extra because seconds after his interview was finished playing, the room had gone dim and two spotlights were pointed at him and his boyfriend, the whole ballroom at a standstill while they waited for him to speak.
Swallowing hard, he found himself walking closer to where Soonyoung was, vision blurry and throat tight as he looked at how perfect his boyfriend was– hair styled in a way that reminded him of their prom, cheeks dusted with the faintest of pink as his lips were stained with wine.
With his perfectly fitted suit and the galaxy in his eyes, Jihoon couldn’t help but picture him walking down the aisle and saying I do, the lump on his throat disappearing as the mental image of them kissing in front of their most precious loved ones appeared in his mind– he wanted him, all of him.
"I'm not very good with words, as everyone of you might know," he finally started, earning a few chuckles from the crowd and pulling a smile on his boyfriend's mouth– one single beam instantly pumping adrenaline through his veins, his nerves chased away by the curiosity of how wide the other man's smile would be after popping the question he had been wanting to answer for so long, "So I'm going to cut to the chase and just do it."
Gasps and excited mumbling filled the ballroom the moment he lowered himself on one knee, placing the microphone on the floor as he fished for the velvet box he had been keeping for a long time from his blazer, not bothering to pick up the microphone again because the only person that needed to hear what he was about to ask was Soonyoung himself.
"Make my dreams come true and marry me?"
Jihoon didn’t know that one single word consisting of three letters could make him tear up but there he was, vision blurry as Soonyoung joined him on the floor with multiple yeses, his boyfriend’s cheeks already wet with tears, his smile wide and bright– they both had waited for that moment for a long time, and Jihoon was glad that his mother was persistent enough to make him agree to propose to his partner that night.
Amidst the deafening cheers of the people around him, multiple voices stood out among the rest– their friends, from Seungcheol’s loud whoops and Jeonghan’s whistles to Mingyu’s catcalls and Seungkwan’s rendition of Here Comes the Bride, Jihoon really couldn’t imagine a better place to propose to Soonyoung, giddy as he told his partner that they already had a house they could call home.
"We still have to wait for a bit before we could move in, though," he whispered, smiling as he held Soonyoung in arm’s length, wiping his lover’s tears with the hem of his sleeves while he explained how Mijoo helped him look for lots and how Seokmin offered to give them a loan so they could start their renovations as soon as possible, "Kiera has a yard she could run around in, and we have a separate room for when we’re ready to raise a kid."
"Jihoon Lee," were the only coherent words that he could understand from the other man's mouth, and truthfully, he didn’t mind– from the way Soonyoung bawled after he slipped the ring on his finger and to the way he clung to him when they settled back on their seats, he knew that he hadn't just fulfilled his dreams but his lover's too.
"Kasalanan 'to ni mama," Wonwoo grumbled, twenty minutes of watching his friends' heartwarming interviews after everyone had finished congratulating Jihoon and Soonyoung, he couldn't help but frown at how shallow and stiff he looked when it was his turn on the big screen– glasses perfectly perched on the bridge of his nose, outfit sharp and answers even sharper.
“I want to be a surgeon.”
"You're continuing med school?" Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at him, the interest of the people around their table piqued, looking at him while his interview drawled on– frankly, he didn’t want to discuss his decision during such a wonderful night but his president had asked, and Mingyu’s hand was on his lap, squeezing his thigh like he was telling him that he should just get it over it and answer.
So he did.
"I will," he shrugged, faking nonchalance because admitting that he spent a week crying while planning his last stream with Mingyu fucking the sad out of him every evening didn't seem like something his friends would want to discuss over dinner, choosing to save the depressing and raunchy tales of how he was coping for some other time.
"Why?" Seungkwan blinked, the worry filling the other man's eyes, despite making his chest warm with fondness was something he didn't really need so he waved it away, not really on the mood to dwell on his sadness anymore as he was on the process of convincing himself that he made the correct decision– doing the right thing was different from doing what was easy, after all.
"It's just the better choice in the long run," he started, a genuine smile blooming on his mouth when he heard Mingyu muttering an agreement– if he was being honest, a part of him wanted to call out his boyfriend for supporting him with all the decisions he made, going with the flow with his usual question of whether he was happy or not. But a bigger part of him was thankful, glad that his lover was giving him the freedom to choose unlike his parents who was adamant on making him stay in the medical field, "I like studying, I like learning and helping people– I can see myself actually enjoying this career path."
And that was the truth.
As fun as streaming and making content was, after another long talk with his parents wherein the older Jeons tried their best to understand where he was coming from, he had a lot of realisations too– of how he could continue his hobby in the future if being a surgeon wasn't really his calling and of how he couldn't just go back to studying medicine if his career as a content creator had fallen short.
Still bitter that he couldn’t explore his passion for gaming, he allowed himself to mourn the fun times he knew was ahead of him if he had chosen to continue streaming, and Mingyu, being the great boyfriend that he was, had allowed him to grieve as well, constantly monitoring him to make sure he could still attend classes in good condition, to make sure that he wasn't going to isolate himself again.
"He's doing great in school," he heard Mingyu say, the pride in his voice tinting his cheeks red, relishing the feeling of his boyfriend's body pressed close to him, "He's starting residency next year too."
With the excited babble around their table about his next step to getting closer to his dream, Wonwoo couldn't help but give Mingyu a kiss and ignore the pang of pain in his chest– it was his mother's fault that he couldn't really do what he wanted but maybe in the future, he'd thank her for standing her ground and for guiding him in the right path.
"Kasalanan 'to ni mama," Chan groaned as laughter echoed all around the ballroom when the screen showed his grinning face, absolutely mortified when he heard himself say that the dream he wrote on his yearbook was to be wanted.
"Your mother loves you so much he really made you a criminal, babe," Vernon chuckled, making both Mingyu and Wonwoo spat their drinks as laughter spilled from their mouths– if it wasn't for Seungkwan holding his hand under the table, he would've already challenged the two in a boxing match.
He would lose, of course.
Considering the size of Mingyu’s arms, even with Vernon's help, they wouldn't stand a chance. But imagining himself with a bruised face and a bleeding nose, he was pretty sure that Seungkwan was going to take care of him instead of the other two so clearly, at the end of the day, the person that the president would kiss on the forehead was the clear winner.
And that was him.
Okay, and Vernon.
Sighing, he rolled his eyes as an easy grin pulled the corners of his mouth– basking in the warmth of his friends' presence, he really had no reason to be sad about in his current situation. Vernon had never left his side as they familiarized themselves with each other while living under the same roof and Seungkwan had been trying, despite his occasional sass and eyeroll, he was sweet and soft most of the time, the three of them trying out things that could help their relationship grow.
It made sense, that was what Minghao told him when he asked if it was weird for three people to form a relationship together, grateful that he and the other man became closer through the past few weeks, and even thankful to the support that everyone in their group had given him– never once feeling alone nor excluded, never once feeling lonely despite losing the only family he had left.
"They still haven't seen her?" Mingyu asked when the high of Vernon's joke had subsided, shaking his head no without a hint of remorse– he was still somewhat on the fence about the whole thing, still didn't know what to feel about his own mother betraying his trust and using him and Seungkwan for her personal gain but he chose not to dwell on that too much, doing his best to focus on what mattered to him the most.
“So when are you guys going to open the bed and breakfast?” Wonwoo asked.
Fighting the urge to give him an unserious answer, he told him that they were planning to have their business up and running the next year, excitement filling his body as he rambled on and on about how they were planning to operate, of their marketing strategies and their game-changing amenities.
“You three are really serious about this, huh?” Mingyu wondered out loud, and with his smile that was either just crooked or was an actual smirk, Chan couldn’t figure out if he was talking about the business or something else, blinking innocently when Wonwoo gave their him and the other two a pointed look.
Either way, he was serious on both the bed and breakfast, and whatever it was that was forming between him, Seungkwan and Vernon.
"Hey, you're still going home with us tonight, right?" he muttered under his breath the moment Mingyu and Wonwoo started making a bet about Seokmin and Joshua when the two walked passed their table side by side, swallowing hard when Seungkwan remained silent as he turned to him with a small knowing smile– God, of course, he was.
"Kasalanan 'to ni mama," Seokmin grunted in frustration, eye twitching as his hands itched to touch Joshua who he had been eyeing since that afternoon, his mind completely fogged at the very thought of the other man because to say that he was beautiful was an understatement, his brain couldn’t even come up with the right adjective because he was more than just pretty and good-looking, glowing with happiness as he weaved through the crowd of their peers and mouthing soft orders to his colleagues, waist cinched with an apron and slacks incredibly tight, hugging his hips and thighs in a way that had Seokmin tripping on his feet.
"I can't make out with a guest," he heard Joshua say, the melodious sound of his laughter doing nothing to shoo away carnal desire growing painfully inside of him– it was hard not to yearn for him that way, and it was so much harder right then when the other man was obviously teasing him on purpose, swaying his hips languidly and licking his lips whenever their gazes met, "So technically, kasalanan ni papa."
"What time are you clocking out?" he asked, chest heaving as he berated himself for thinking that being alone with Joshua on the more secluded part of the venue was a great idea, holding his breath while he watched the other man hum thoughtfully– oh his baby was having fun, the little minx was aware of his effect on him and he was deliberately doing everything in his power to push all of his buttons.
As obvious as it may seemed, Seokmin still couldn’t bring himself to do anything to stop whatever Joshua was doing– it was torture, that was for sure but he was still reluctant to put a halt on what was happening because for one, there was some sort of thrill in the dance of back and forth they were doing and two, seeing his baby like that, confident and smug, brought immense joy in his heart.
"Did you watch the interviews kanina?" Joshua inquired instead, sparing him a small smile as he stopped pacing and stood in front of him, "Noticed someone missing?"
Seokmin blinked.
"You didn't do the interview," he drawled, frowning because he was sure he asked Mijoo if she finished filming all of their batch mates, and she had answered him yes, "Why didn't y–"
"I want you to interview me," Joshua whispered, and if he wasn't paying attention, he would've missed it with how quiet the other man stated that request– something under his skin bristled at that, heart pounding in his chest as he nodded in daze, suddenly too charmed by Joshua himself, too bewitched by their close proximity.
Seokmin already knew where their conversation was going, knew it by how Joshua had been asking to meet up lately, calling him in the most random time of the day just because he could and stealing his blazers like he did when they first reunited– the other man was ready to take their relationship on another level again, and sure he could learn a thing or two from Jihoon and just cut to the chase but where was the fun in that?
Joshua had set up a game, who was he not to play?
"Alright, Mr. Joshua Hong. Are you ready?" he smiled, asking him Mijoo's usual question about what he wrote on the yearbook, what was his ambition and what was his quote, patiently going through his sister's list of what to ask even when Joshua's responses were just a series of dismissive phrases like "It doesn't matter," and "It's stupid."
Seokmin couldn't help but chuckle as he played innocent while Joshua glared up at him, stating that the interview was over and pretending like he didn't know what question the other man truly wanted to answer but a light kick on the shin and a smack on his chest, he grumbled about not having a chance to tease before giving in and surprise, surprise, doing what his baby wanted.
"Are you happy?" he asked, the air around them growing thick as Joshua took a second and two before making his move, closing the distance between them as mere inches separated their lips– goosebumps peppered his skin when the other man had whispered a yes, glowing like an angel right before his eyes, smiling with nothing but genuine gaiety.
"And what's your dream?" he pressed further, thoroughly enthralled at how Joshua held his gaze, determined and proud– Seokmin swore he hadn't seen anything more dazzling than the sight in front of him.
And God, it was almost comical how the other man perked up at that question, the sensuality from his features gone and was replaced with something more adorable, giddy as he shyly told him all about everything he wanted to do to expand his father's business, attending seminars here and there, acquiring as much knowledge as he could and taking his expenses seriously.
Joshua had been so quiet about his journey that Seokmin couldn't help swoon at how responsible he had gotten, his longing for the other man unconsciously increasing tenfold.
"What else?" he breathed out, his heart stammering as he continued to urge Joshua to say what he was really going to say to him that night– it felt like deja vu, for him to ask the other man what his dream was and to be answered with a quiet, "You."
He was expecting that answer, saw it from a mile away– cliché and predictable, that was what Joshua's whole shtick for the night and yet there he was, warmth flooding his whole system as his heart melted at the confession, fingers tingling with wanting, his entire body buzzing with yearning.
"What time are you clocking out, Joshua Hong?" he asked again, chest heaving with overwhelming emotions, and eyes glazed with tears he could only blame on sheer happiness.
"I clocked out before coming with you here."
And then they were kissing, Seokmin didn’t even know who went for it first and who gave in before the other but he didn't care– his hands were on Joshua's waist as he pulled him closer, coaxing his mouth to open for him with gentle coercion, and deepening the kiss when he heard the other man keening for him.
Seokmin didn't believe much in religion but Joshua was someone he was sure he could worship– the taste of wine sweeter on his tongue, the sound of pleasure so much prettier from his mouth. He could take him right then and there, could slam him on a pillar and show him just how much he was proud of him, how smitten and how in love, how proud and how happy but the other man deserved more than just getting fucked behind some wall, they deserved so much better than just getting off in fear of someone walking in on them.
"You can wait until the reunion is over, right?" he whispered on Joshua's skin, nipping and sucking on spots that he knew the other man liked, chuckling when he heard him protesting, "I want to take my time with you, want to make you feel good– let's wait for a bit, yeah? I'll do whatever you want after."
"Fine," Joshua huffed, pushing him away from his neck before dusting his uniform and fixing his askewed collar– Seokmin couldn't help but plant another kiss on his pouted lips, lacing their hands and pulling the other man out of the shadows before he could change his mind and fuck him senseless right there, "Wait, I have something to tell you."
"What?" he raised an eyebrow, blinking when Joshua stood on his tiptoes and leaned towards his ear.
"Love," Joshua started, his voice quiet and sweet, "Thank you."
And then he was off, power walking to where Jeonghan, Seungcheol and their friends were currently huddled, smiling wide and ignoring the heat under his cheeks as he followed his beloved and joined in on their current discussion, his hand automatically finding its place on Joshua's hip.
Love.
Seokmin felt like a lunatic with how wide his beam was.
"Kasalanan 'to ni mama," Seungcheol groaned as he hid his face on the crook of Jeonghan's neck, his boyfriend laughing while he patted his head, telling their friends to quiet down and guess who really was the reason why half of their batch wasn't able to attend their field trip due to a chicken pox outbreak.
"Isn't it Soonyoung?" Jihoon was the first one to answer, earning an elbow on the rib from his own fiance, the grin on his mouth unwavering despite Soonyoung’s scolding– Seungcheol peaked at them from Jeonghan's arms, smiling to himself as he recalled just how different the two were during high school.
They were both stubborn back then, irresponsible and didn't care much about their relationship until weeks of dating turned to months and then to years, their bond growing strong and their understanding for each other growing deeper.
Seungcheol was happy for them.
"It's Wonwoo," Mingyu guffawed, earning the agreement of the other boys in his circle with Wonwoo protesting with his red cheeks and wide eyes– with how guilty he was acting, Seungcheol was almost convinced that it was him.
"Fine, if you said it wasn't you then it wasn't you," the photographer rolled his eyes, placating his boyfriend with small kisses on the face before telling everyone to quit blaming his sweet little Wonwon.
It was their relationship that made Seungcheol the gladdest, aware that Wonwoo needed someone fearless yet level-headed in his life– they used to be the same person, he remembered, but through the years, they had grown into two different people, the two thoroughly complimenting each other with their newfound beliefs, strengths and weaknesses.
Seungcheol hoped they'd stay together for a long time.
"Fine, it's me!" Chan exclaimed, slamming a hand on the table and was just about to stand up when he was pulled down to his seat by both Seungkwan and Vernon, berating him for taking the fall again for something that wasn't his fault.
"You haven't had chicken pox yet, babe," Vernon chuckled, and Seungcheol couldn't help but smile at how Seungkwan rolled his eyes at the two, the fondness radiating off of him hard to ignore, his gaze soft as Chan said he was willing to be the culprit for his new family.
Seungcheol wished for the three of them to never get tired of understanding each other– being in a relationship with one person could already take a toll on someone, he couldn't imagine how hard it would be for them.
But he had high hopes for them.
"It's definitely not me or Seokmin," Joshua huffed, his voice loud and clear and despite his nonchalance, Seungcheol was pretty sure he'd do anything to defend both of their honors– they were two of the people that showed visible signs of chicken pox after all, and by the looks of Seokmin’s glare from behind his partner, he was convinced that he'd do everything too to support his lover's claim.
Seungcheol wasn't worried about them, knew that they would choose each other too, no matter what.
"Mahal and I didn't have chicken pox," Jun shook his head when all eyes turned to him and Minghao, smiling with confidence as he started telling them how they were able to join the field trip and how he pretended like they were on a date– Seungcheol, despite not being as close to them as their other friends, had a soft spot for the two, aware of their struggles and hardships, aware of how strong they were.
They were in love with each other, everyone knew that even before the two had even admitted they had a crush on one another.
"So it must be one of you," Seungkwan accused, and Seungcheol inwardly groaned at how everyone started pointing fingers at them, coming up with different and yet equally ridiculous theories, and shaking their heads like they were disappointed that they allowed other people to suffer because of their carelessness.
"How sure are you guys that it started in our group?" Jeonghan asked, his defensiveness making their table even more adamant that it was one of them that started it all– Seungcheol sighed, as much as he enjoyed his lover getting flustered, he decided then that enough was enough.
"It was me," he confessed, laughing at the uproar of his friends before planting a kiss on Jeonghan's cheek, a gesture to express how grateful he was for covering for him when they were younger, "My mom had it first– I saw a bump on my thigh after that but I didn't know what it was so I went to school then the outbreak started. Jeonghan knew because I told him then he said he'll tell everyone that it was him."
"Oh!" Soonyoung yelled from his seat, realization dawning at him as he told everyone what really happened, "Jeonghan told me that it was him but I didn't want everyone to hate him so I said it was Seungkwan–"
"Asshole," Seungkwan grumbled.
"– but half of the student body thought it was me and the other half was convinced it was Seungkwan so Wonwoo made everyone think that it was him by being extra defensive!" Soonyoung finished, their whole group breaking out in hysterical laughter as they connected the dots about the infamous outbreak within their batch.
Back in high school, it was believed that Seungcheol was the simp one in the relationship for always showing off his affections for his partner but away from prying eyes, it was really Jeonghan that loved him more, taking care of him in ways that made him who he was right then, cherished him in ways that made him vow to do the same for the other man.
Looking at Jeonghan who was already staring up at him, he felt nothing but pure ecstasy about their existence in the same lifetime and universe– it was always going to be Jeonghan for him, and he refused to believe the possibility that there was an alternate reality where the two of them wouldn't meet.
There was always going to be a Seungcheol for a Jeonghan, and vice versa– smiling down at his most cherished one, he pulled him closer and watched the people around them, their friends reminiscing about their youth with nothing but fondness despite how rocky their roads were.
Seungcheol was happy.
And he relished that feeling because he knew he deserved it.